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Future Insults
(n. / adj.)
A face so cosmetically or pharmacologically frozen it is as clear and inexpressive as a clear pane of glass.
Speed dating taught him to spot the deadpanes by their identical facial reactions to "tell me about yourself" and the fire alarm.
Does it ring true?
From the future, or already here?
Deadpan comes from pan, the old slang for the straight face of someone refusing to laugh at a joke. Deadpanning a joke is a choice while deadpane is the involuntary and ongoing side effect of medically keeping one’s face as wrinkle-free as a window pane.
Future Words: A Non-Obvious Glossary of Terms That Don’t Exist (But Soon Will) collects all 100, each with its example sentence and coinage notes, from the bestselling authors of The Future Normal. Hardcover, October 20, 2026.